The enemy must be getting desperate. Two nights ago, I woke from a deep sleep at 1:30 a.m. – choking to death. It was the same sensation as taking water into your lungs while swimming, only worse. I couldn’t breathe in or out. It was surreal. I was strangely calm. I had this awareness that if I was about to die, I’d be all right. But I also felt that I wanted to live, that there are things I’d like to do and I’m finally enjoying my life. So I silently asked Jesus to help me.
It was as if He thumped me on the back and I was able to cough and I could breathe again. He saved my life.
I had enough assurance of His presence that I could go back to sleep without concern. I did ask Him, before going back to sleep, to send the enemy out of my house and to flood me and my home with His Holy Spirit. Then I went to sleep. I woke up feeling fine except a little soreness in my chest from the struggle to breathe.
Since that night, I have thought often about what happened. That one incident has built my faith in such a huge way. If God could save my life while I was choking alone in my house in the middle of the night … what can’t He do? Why should I worry about anything? I have felt such assurance since then. I am in very good hands. We all are. Thank You, God!
Write a prayer confessing a time when you turned away from God.
Prayer
Father, I love You so much. I worship You. I praise You – for who You are, and for all You’ve done in my life. Thank You for Your unending love.
I am so grateful, God, that You pulled me up out of the ashes. Was it really only six years ago? So much has happened since then. You’ve changed my life inside-out, and I thank You.
God, I’m so sorry, for all those years I turned a deaf ear to Your gentle voice. Your heart was for me. You never wanted me to jump off a cliff. You were standing by, so ready to show me where to take my next steps, so ready to lead and guide and be my comfort and strength. You were so filled with love for me, and so ready to pour Your blessings into my heart and my life.
But I chose to do it my way. I chose to dig my own path, to hack my way through the tangled weeds and briars, to wander through the wilderness, wailing and weeping, because my life was falling apart and the walls were caving in. I cried out to You in despair: "God, help!" I never listened for Your response. I don’t think I really expected a response.
I had no idea how close You were, how intently Your gaze was focused on me, and how much Your heart ached for me. I had no idea how ready You were to intervene, if only I would let You, if only I would surrender. God, You loved me so much in that hour, when I wandered in circles and never lifted my gaze to find You. You loved me, and You kept me from worse harm, despite the destruction I tried to bring on myself. You never left my side. You never gave up on me. You never stopped calling, and You never stopped listening. You never stopped loving me.
God, I thank You for the ways You intervened, through the prayers of others – prayers that You put on their hearts for me. God, You drew me to a place where I could finally say, "Lord, I’m so sorry. I can’t do this on my own anymore. I need You, God." And then like lightning, from the depths of Your heart, You reached in and lifted me up and held me close. You breathed new life into me. And thus began our new journey, truly together, You and me – a journey of healing, and restoration, and new life.
Thank You, God, that You never leave us nor forsake us. Thank You that You are constantly drawing us to You, wooing our hearts, even when we turn away. Thank You for Your grace that surrounds us always, reminding us of who You are. Thank You, Lord, that when we turn our hearts back to You, and seek You first, and listen to You, that You don’t wait one moment to pour Your blessings on us, and to place our feet on the path You have set before us - Your path, that brings us to the most beautiful places, and that leads us deep into Your heart.
I love You, God – so much! I thank You and I praise You. You amaze me, always, and Your love is overwhelming. Thank You, God, for who You are. Thank You for Your love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
This happened three years ago, but I don’t think I’ve shared it here. So here goes.
I was visiting with friends in Arkansas. One of our friends, a doctor, was hosting a table at a community resources exhibition. Another friend and I were planning to help her out at the table that day. However, I woke up feeling horrible. I wasn’t sure why. It was August and the heat was sweltering. I had a slight headache, but by the time we arrived at the exhibition center, the pain had intensified. We went inside just long enough to see our doctor friend, and by then I told my friends I had to go home. My head was throbbing and I was starting to feel nauseous and dizzy.
We got back into the car and started the long drive home. I was just trying to maintain myself and couldn’t wait to get out of the rumbling car. My friend asked if we could make a quick stop at the McDonald’s drive-thru to get a dollar burger for her dog at home. Feeling half unconscious, I just grunted that this would be fine.
As we got in line at the drive-thru, my thoughts turned to a time when I was very sick as a child. This didn’t feel all that different. That childhood illness was heat stroke, and I wondered if this might be the same. One thing that had helped so much during that childhood heat stroke was that my mother gave me a coke to drink. I wasn’t raised drinking soda; my mom was very much against it. However, there were some medical circumstances when she thought a coke would be helpful.
My friend had placed her order and paid, and as the car crept forward to the pick-up window, I thought, Wouldn’t a coke be nice right now? It was too late to order, plus I had no money. So I turned to prayer instead. God, You’re my Healer. I need Your help right now. I’m not feeling so good. Please help me. You’re the One who can refresh me."
We got to the pick-up window and my friend reached out to take the hamburger bag. The woman working at the window said, "Hey, would either of you like a large coke?" She reached toward the counter and picked up a large cup. "I just filled this but we didn’t need it. You can have it. It’s free."
With tears in my eyes, I rolled my aching head toward the window and nodded. "That’s from God," I told my friend and the woman at the window. I reached for the coke and then started to drink, sobbing between sips. Then I leaned back in the seat, into the arms of my heavenly Father, and said, "Thank You, Abba."
The whole way home, I was crying, sipping coke, and praising God. By the time we got to the house, I went in to lie down, already feeling that I had turned a corner, and was on my way to recovering. By dinnertime that night, I was fine.
I still have the empty coke cup. I feel that God reached down from heaven and put it in my hand.